..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
