Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
