Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
