I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
