Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
