You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
