I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
