So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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