he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I think your dad took our porno
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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