Plan B is the new Plan A
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
