Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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