we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
