ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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