I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
