I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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