so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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