CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We are all done wearing pants today
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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