Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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