my vag is so smooth its legendary
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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