I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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