I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
