Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
