I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
