Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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