we have pet lesbian snakes
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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