I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize