I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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