There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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