does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
