you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
