he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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