Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Actions speak louder than pants.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
