I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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