So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
