Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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