I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
