y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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