you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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