U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
