found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
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She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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