i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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