So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
