One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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