That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
