I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
