Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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