Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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