We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
