bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
