This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
