how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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