I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
