Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
