I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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