I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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