I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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