i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
