does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
