Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
