you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
