I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize