**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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