he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
My dick has a subreddit
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
