If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
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I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize