Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
North Korea, Best Korea!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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