I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
