i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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