you turned your livingroom into a bong?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
