the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
This baby is an asshole
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
