ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
