In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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